Funny Ice Fishing Stories

“TO SEE AND READ”

To know the history and the origins of this little fish,
as well as photos of pourvoieries,
Click on the image below…

WE WOULD LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE
IN THE CITY OF STE-ANNE-DE-LA PÉRADE
FOR THEIR WONDERFUL INITIATIVE;
in order to promote ice fishing,
a sport very appreciated and accessible to the whole family.

“A MEDITATE:”
People who live in the huts in the winter fishery, where do they live the summer?

“Definition of the word fish:” 
Animal whose growth is excessively fast between the time it is entered and the time where the fisherman actually description at friends.

“LAUGH A LITTLE”

A blonde who is bored decides one day to find a hobby: fishing on Lake ice. Then, voila she bought all the books on the subject, then she went shopping to equip equipment, clothes etc etc and hop, goes merrily to his first experience.
Once installed on the ice with a small stool, she comes out all the equipment, the equipment needed, then when you begin to make a hole in the ice, a big voice:
There are no fish under the ice!
Surprised, she says she’s dreaming. She takes her little stool, its equipment, and moves a few meters or she returned, and again to make a hole in the ice… 3 minutes later again the big voice: there are no fish under the ice!
The, it is too! But she’s so blonde: she persists! Come on, a little further, then still a hole and again the voice:
There is no fish under the ice!
Petrified, she raises her head and said “God, it’s you? Are you there? and the voice answers:
No! stupid bitch, is the Director of the rink!

It is 2 blondes who go fishing.
After 6 hours they have not always caught fish. Then, one of the blonde perceive
2 Brunettes further including fishing is a real success. So she decides to go the spying.
Amazement, she returns to his blonde girlfriend and said:
-It’s because they made a hole in the ice…

How long does Newfies for fishing on a frozen winter Lake?
-Five: one for making the hole in the ice and four others to drive the boat.

How do you drown a blonde?
-Take him to ice fishing and Sportingology said:
Can Hey honey, you get me a beer in the cellar.

The policeman to the fisherman:
-I’m dessolé, but need you a permit for fishing here.
-No, thank you, it goes very well with a worm.

A man fishing:
The goalkeeper passes and told him: “you can’t read? “It is forbidden to fish here!”
And the man replied: “I don’t fish, I learn to my earthworm to swim!”

It was 2 newfies who go fishing, it bites it bites, they took their limit within an hour, while they return at the edge of, the one said to the other:-don’t forget to notice the “spot”
to get it back next week.
In the car one asks:
-Do you remember the “spot” to come back next week?
-Oh yes don’t worry, I made a big X on the floor of the hut.
-Kind of dumb, says the newfie, suddenly we don’t lease the same cabin next time.
A newfie returned empty handed fishing, he stops at a fish market and said to the clerk.
-I wish I had 2 big trout, and throw me the.
-Why? ask the clerk.
-This way I can say to my wife that I have “handles” without telling a lie.

What is the fruit that hate fish?
Fishing.

It’s the great macho who just got married. The day after the wedding, he said to his wife:
-Well, then honey, now in this House, there will be some rules to follow.
First, he should know that I get home if I want and when I want to
– And I’m not playing to the time I get.
I also want to have a good meal on the table in 30 minutes if I want to eat.
I don’t want no discussion when I go fishing, hunting, a drink or see a game
football with my friends. It is understood?
Then the bride replied:
-No, no, it’s okay for me. I will have just one rule to enact:
Every night at 9 pm, there will be sex at home, whether you’re there or not…

A couple makes a fishing trip. The husband likes fishing for hours then the woman
like to read in the boat.
One morning, the man is napping when the woman decides to take the boat, without knowing where to go to read his book on the Lake. After an hour, a guardian arrives.
-Hello Ma’am, what are you doing?
-I read, it’s obvious!
-Ok, but you’re in an area where fishing is prohibited.
– But I’m just reading my book, I don’t even fish!
-Maybe, but you have all the equipment to do so. I have no choice but to take your boat and give you a ticket.
-So if you do this, I’ll sue you in court for sexual assault.
-But, Ma’am, I didn’t you even touch!
-Maybe, but you have all the equipment to do so.

2 newfies was fishing boat, when suddenly the water began to enter the boat
through a hole in the bottom.
The first round upset says to the second:
-We’re going to sink, and I can’t swim.
The second replied.
-No need to get angry, I’ll make another hole in the bottom of the boat and the water will be released there.

It’s the little Alexander accompanying his dad to fishing on a beautiful July afternoon.
While they’re waiting for it to bite, Toto asks:
-Hey Dad, how’s the boats float on the water instead of sinking?
And the father says:
-Oh that I know nothing about Alexandre…
A little later, he returned to the charge:
-Tell dad, how do fish breathe underwater?
-Oh it’s I don’t know son…
Still a little later:
-Tell dad, why the sky is blue?
-No idea Alex.
Still later, he asks again:
-Dad, do you mind if I ask you all these questions?
-Of course that no boy: If you asked no questions, you would never learn anything!

This is the story of a man who cannot be stop swearing. He’ll see his cure for her advice on this subject. The father says:
-Whenever you want to blaspheme, you say instead: Holy Mary, mother of God, sit next to me…
The man leaves, promising to follow the advice of the parish priest. A few days later, he goes fishing. A first fish that bites to his line, man fights for a minute and
the fish eludes him.
-Taba…
The man recovers and says:
-Holy Mary, mother of God, sit next to me, proud of himself.
Then, the man grabs a second fish with which he fights for 10 minutes, but the fish
still eludes him.
-Awar…
The man recovers accuracy, more and more exasperated and said:
-Holy Mary, mother of God, sit next to me.
He grabs a third fish, huge, but the man escapes his line.
-Cal…
Well I decided to listen to the cure to save her soul, the man recovers at the last minute
and said:
-Holy Mary, mother of God, sit next to me.
Finally, a fourth, a record size this time, dead fish on a hook. Human fights, is slowing, maintains the line of force, gets up to get a better grip, wobbles, staggers, loses his balance and… falls into the water! Then he explodes:
! [email protected]@[email protected]@1x you were not required to all sit on the same side
the boat!

A young man stands in a drugstore that sells everything for a place of seller.
The manager asks him if he has experience in the sale. The young applicant responds:
“In the sale, if I experience, aiaiaiaiaille, I’m the King of the sale, my cousin he had a shop, I sold everything, now he’s gone to the Sun so I made him rich,”
I swear on my mother’s head, y’ has no better salesman than I am “.”
The charge, amused by the situation, decides to try the young man for the day.
In the evening, he returned to see the sales: “so, how many sales have you made
today? “One, I saw a customer”
“It’s not very brilliant that, and a sale of what amount?”
“Only $180,000.00”
“What? $180,000.00? but… How do it? ”
And the seller says:
“A guy comes and I sold him a hook. Then I suggest the small fishing rod and a series of flies. And as I told him that he can not fish without being well equipped, I also sells large cane with the line and jams, and reel, you’ve never seen one like it that
I tell him, you can pull up whale with it. After, for not there shame in front of the other fishermen, I sold him equipment, boots, the wax and the bob. Because, with his brand new cane, if there no equipment, go look a thick in front of his friends, and my clients, they have crazy look, but not the air thick. Then I ask him where he plans to go fishing. He told me on the side. So, I told him that he would do well to buy a boat for fishing off, and I can sell him a speedboat from 12 meters. And I ask him how there going to take his boat on the side.
There didn’t know, so I sold him a Mercedes new series and a trailer to pull.
And then we did the accounts. It was $ 180,600. I did a price $ 180,000 he signed.
The head is bewildered, sitting on the floor, he could not believe his ears:
“You sold a Mercedes to someone who came to buy a fish hook?”
“Uh…” Not really. The client went there to buy a box of tampons for his wife.
So I told him:
Since your weekend is done, why would you go not to fishing? ”

2 newfies was fishing boat, when suddenly the water began to enter the boat.
through a hole in the bottom.
The first round upset says to the second:
-We’re going to sink, and I can’t swim.
The second replied.
-No need to get angry, I’ll make another hole in the bottom of the boat and the water will be released there.

Gallery

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